There are so many reasons why I want to post this, but...suffice it to say, I haven't kept a baby book. Or journal. Or whatever. And somebody the other day mentioned it somewhere and I got to thinking- there are so many things about Little Dude that I want to be able to remember, and I want to be able to share with him. Things that most people don't care about, really, but are just so important.
Like how the first thing I said when I heard his sweet little voice after they pulled him out was "He's so cute- his cry is so cute!" even though crying isn't really cute, but it was just so sweet, and I'd waited so long to hear it. Just a little lamb bleating against the light and the cold.
How it seemed to take forever for them to stitch me up and move me so I could hold my little guy in my arms, but it really was probably maybe 30 minutes, certainly less than an hour. But I just wanted him in my arms so badly. To hold and snuggle. And once he was there, I wanted him there forever (I kinda got this wish- kid will NOT sleep without me at night and still wants to be held almost all the time).
I want to remember how when he was teeny tiny he used to put his hands together almost as if he were praying in thanks for the milk he was drinking, and he used to make the softest little squeaky noises. He loved the lion on his mobile and would 'talk' to it when we put it over him. How he used to scream for hours and hours whenever he wasn't sleeping or eating and sometimes even when he WAS eating until we got his reflux taken care of. How much it broke my heart, and I'd break down into tears, hysterical, whenever he'd stop nursing and SCREAM because it hurt and there was nothing I could do except cry and pray that he wasn't going to starve to death (believe me, he wasn't. He gained weight so fast...). I want to remember how he didn't start rolling over onto his tummy until 8 months old because it hurt, how he waited until 9 months old to start crawling. How he started pulling up and standing on his own within days of crawling, and we thought he'd start walking in no time, but he waited 'til 13 months for that. I want to remember that he took his first steps when we were getting ready for bed, and Shino sat down in the chair to read his bedtime story and Little Dude just charged on over because he LOVES to read.
I never want him to lose his love of books. He will sit and read 10 straight through and still want to read some more....
There's so much more, but right now he needs his mama, so the rest will have to wait. ^_-
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
It's ok if you don't breastfeed.
No, really, it is. It worked for us and was easy and yeah, it's cheaper and a nice way to bond. But, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. There's no reason to beat yourself up about it. .I hate that boob nazis all over the world beat women down for making the choice not to breastfeed- or for not making that choice, but not being able to breastfeed.
You do not have to go to 14 lactation consultants, try 30 different herbs, pump every hour, and cry over 1oz of milk. It's ok to give up. It really, really is.
Breastfeeding is nice, and there were times in which I loved it and couldn't imagine doing anything differently. It's convenient, because I don't have to haul around bottles or formula. And dangit, the poop really does smell a TON better before they start solids.
But it's time consuming. It's emotionally draining. Your body no longer belongs solely to yourself, and neither does your time. You are on baby's clock- for many, baby eats every 2-3 hours until he or she weans. This means that you MUST be available to them every 2-3 hours...and that's from the START of the nursing session. Normal babies (not crazy reflux babies like mine) can take up to an hour (or more, if they're REALLY lazy or growth spurting or teething) to finish nursing. This means that you have MAYBE 1-2 hours in which you could do something other than nurse. Like sleep, or eat, or take a shower.
And that's if you have an easy, relaxed baby who will let you put them in a swing or something while you do that. If you have a high maintenance baby that must be held all the time, you discover babywearing and then you REALLY have no time to yourself because baby is strapped on you or in your arms 24/7.
Breastfeeding takes a lot out of you. And it is TOTALLY ok if you don't have that to give. Hell, I'm not even sure I have that to give, but I do it anyways because Little Dude never would take a bottle. If it had been harder, like I'd actually had trouble getting him to latch or issues with supply or an unsupportive family, then yeah, I'd have probably quit after the first couple of weeks when I was sitting there with a child who WOULD NOT let me put him down so I could grab a sandwich, hysterical in tears because he was nursing ALL DAY LONG.
I hate when moms feel like they have to mention "he's formula fed. We tried breastfeeding, we did x y and z and I put myself through hell and I hate myself for it, but it just didn't work out." WHY? Why did you put yourself through that? Why would anyone put themselves through that? Breastmilk isn't THAT much better, if it is at all. Please, please please, all you mamas who are out there, or who aren't mamas yet...PLEASE take care of yourselves too. Baby will grow up just fine with formula, promise. My 3-year-old niece is smarter than a lot of 5 year olds I know, tall and thin as a reed, and beautiful and thriving and she was breastfed for MAYBE 6 weeks before my sister couldn't stand it anymore.
Don't feel bad. Don't beat yourself up. Do what you have to do. Love yourself, Love your baby, Love your family. That's the important thing.
You do not have to go to 14 lactation consultants, try 30 different herbs, pump every hour, and cry over 1oz of milk. It's ok to give up. It really, really is.
Breastfeeding is nice, and there were times in which I loved it and couldn't imagine doing anything differently. It's convenient, because I don't have to haul around bottles or formula. And dangit, the poop really does smell a TON better before they start solids.
But it's time consuming. It's emotionally draining. Your body no longer belongs solely to yourself, and neither does your time. You are on baby's clock- for many, baby eats every 2-3 hours until he or she weans. This means that you MUST be available to them every 2-3 hours...and that's from the START of the nursing session. Normal babies (not crazy reflux babies like mine) can take up to an hour (or more, if they're REALLY lazy or growth spurting or teething) to finish nursing. This means that you have MAYBE 1-2 hours in which you could do something other than nurse. Like sleep, or eat, or take a shower.
And that's if you have an easy, relaxed baby who will let you put them in a swing or something while you do that. If you have a high maintenance baby that must be held all the time, you discover babywearing and then you REALLY have no time to yourself because baby is strapped on you or in your arms 24/7.
Breastfeeding takes a lot out of you. And it is TOTALLY ok if you don't have that to give. Hell, I'm not even sure I have that to give, but I do it anyways because Little Dude never would take a bottle. If it had been harder, like I'd actually had trouble getting him to latch or issues with supply or an unsupportive family, then yeah, I'd have probably quit after the first couple of weeks when I was sitting there with a child who WOULD NOT let me put him down so I could grab a sandwich, hysterical in tears because he was nursing ALL DAY LONG.
I hate when moms feel like they have to mention "he's formula fed. We tried breastfeeding, we did x y and z and I put myself through hell and I hate myself for it, but it just didn't work out." WHY? Why did you put yourself through that? Why would anyone put themselves through that? Breastmilk isn't THAT much better, if it is at all. Please, please please, all you mamas who are out there, or who aren't mamas yet...PLEASE take care of yourselves too. Baby will grow up just fine with formula, promise. My 3-year-old niece is smarter than a lot of 5 year olds I know, tall and thin as a reed, and beautiful and thriving and she was breastfed for MAYBE 6 weeks before my sister couldn't stand it anymore.
Don't feel bad. Don't beat yourself up. Do what you have to do. Love yourself, Love your baby, Love your family. That's the important thing.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Try to get this out
So, first of all, a quick update- I am a lazy lazy momma and really just have been too afraid of not getting things typed out before the baby wakes. So, no blog posts lately, though a ton have run through my mind. Right now, I'm going to try to get a few things out, but gods only know if it'll work. I did get Thing 1 and Thing 2's quilts sewn together, just need to try my hand at applique and then finish up little Thing 3's quilt and applique it before all three will be done.
Aside from that, I've accomplished little outside of laundry and general baby-care. He's a rough baby, so you can understand how that'd take most of my energy. I do have a few projects in the plans, though. Just have to get a few other things done first.
Ok, so, most recently on my mind has been something someone said on one of my message board haunts about Disney. That she was boycotting Disney because there weren't any african american lead characters, and the one who was in The Frog Princess wasn't actually a princess. Admittedly, she hadn't seen the movie to know that Tiana was so much cooler than any silly 'princess' title could make her, but still, this left me with a bad taste in my mouth. She said that she didn't want her daughter watching movies with characters in them that weren't black, because it would make her wish to be white. Or something to that effect, anyways.
To me, this is just silly. I mean, I plan to let my little boy watch Disney, and the male characters in most of those movies are minor at best. Villains at worst. And none of them look exactly like my little boy. And I certainly don't think watching the movies are going to make him wish he was a blond haired, blue eyed little girl. I think people read too much into these sorts of things. They WANT to take offense to them because they want to push the race button. At least, that's how this feels to me. Because it's pretty darn obvious that if you wanted to pick at Disney movies, you'd have a lot easier targets than "my kid is going to want to be white from watching white girls be princesses." How about "my kid is going to think she can fall asleep and do nothing her whole life, then wake up and get married and never have to do anything else"? or, a more recurring theme "my kid is going to think that mothers are evil/unnecessary and cut me out of her life"? or better yet "my kid is going to think that as long as she's pretty, she never has another thing to worry about"?
There are a lot more negative things to be taken out of Disney than that. And hey, at least they didn't keep the original story, where Sleeping Beauty was raped and woke from her slumber because she was having a baby, and Cinderella's stepsisters chopped off pieces of their feet in order to fit the glass slipper. Because then they'd -really- have problems.
Because people can't be bothered to teach their children the difference between fantasy and reality. They'd rather have kids BELIEVE unreal things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny than give them the gift of Imagination and have them PRETEND unreal things like boys being princesses, or imaginary worlds in the clouds (my personal 'imaginary friend' of childhood). I used to pretend I was a Ninja Turtle more often than a Disney character, and I certainly had no proclivity to become a giant turtle eating pizza all day long.
If you let the media raise your children, Disney is the least of your concerns. Do the teaching yourself, and it won't matter what colour the skin of the princess on the screen is- your girl's dreams will make her whatever she wants to be, whether it be princess, knight, or dragon. (Dude, I totally vote dragon, if it were up to me. I'd LOVE to be a dragon. Secondary desire would be Knight. Princesses don't get to do anything fun.)
Aside from that, I've accomplished little outside of laundry and general baby-care. He's a rough baby, so you can understand how that'd take most of my energy. I do have a few projects in the plans, though. Just have to get a few other things done first.
Ok, so, most recently on my mind has been something someone said on one of my message board haunts about Disney. That she was boycotting Disney because there weren't any african american lead characters, and the one who was in The Frog Princess wasn't actually a princess. Admittedly, she hadn't seen the movie to know that Tiana was so much cooler than any silly 'princess' title could make her, but still, this left me with a bad taste in my mouth. She said that she didn't want her daughter watching movies with characters in them that weren't black, because it would make her wish to be white. Or something to that effect, anyways.
To me, this is just silly. I mean, I plan to let my little boy watch Disney, and the male characters in most of those movies are minor at best. Villains at worst. And none of them look exactly like my little boy. And I certainly don't think watching the movies are going to make him wish he was a blond haired, blue eyed little girl. I think people read too much into these sorts of things. They WANT to take offense to them because they want to push the race button. At least, that's how this feels to me. Because it's pretty darn obvious that if you wanted to pick at Disney movies, you'd have a lot easier targets than "my kid is going to want to be white from watching white girls be princesses." How about "my kid is going to think she can fall asleep and do nothing her whole life, then wake up and get married and never have to do anything else"? or, a more recurring theme "my kid is going to think that mothers are evil/unnecessary and cut me out of her life"? or better yet "my kid is going to think that as long as she's pretty, she never has another thing to worry about"?
There are a lot more negative things to be taken out of Disney than that. And hey, at least they didn't keep the original story, where Sleeping Beauty was raped and woke from her slumber because she was having a baby, and Cinderella's stepsisters chopped off pieces of their feet in order to fit the glass slipper. Because then they'd -really- have problems.
Because people can't be bothered to teach their children the difference between fantasy and reality. They'd rather have kids BELIEVE unreal things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny than give them the gift of Imagination and have them PRETEND unreal things like boys being princesses, or imaginary worlds in the clouds (my personal 'imaginary friend' of childhood). I used to pretend I was a Ninja Turtle more often than a Disney character, and I certainly had no proclivity to become a giant turtle eating pizza all day long.
If you let the media raise your children, Disney is the least of your concerns. Do the teaching yourself, and it won't matter what colour the skin of the princess on the screen is- your girl's dreams will make her whatever she wants to be, whether it be princess, knight, or dragon. (Dude, I totally vote dragon, if it were up to me. I'd LOVE to be a dragon. Secondary desire would be Knight. Princesses don't get to do anything fun.)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I am back!
Yeah, hey, sorry about that guys. I know I went on a crazy hiatus thing. We had a stomach virus sweep through the family, and then a death in the family, and then some crazy nap stuff going on (Little Dude decided to switch from 3 naps a day to 2 and after I figured it out there was some adjustment, etc etc etc). But, I think I am officially back on track-ish now.
Of course, I also haven't gotten as much done as I'd have liked to. We've officially switched to cloth diapering most of the day (he wears a disposable mostly only at night and first thing in the morning, when Shino changes him, though sometimes Shino changes him in the evening as well and that's a disposable too, because he doesn't really like cloth. Whatevs.), so there'll be a post upcoming about that.
Other than that, I have managed to get the faces of all three quilts done. I had them laid out and Thing 1's quilt was pinned, but then I realized that I desperately hated the borders for both, and so had to switch them around and haven't had a chance to re-pin. I hate pinning, btw. It's the most tedious part of the whole quilt, to me- there's no FUN involved, just work. So, I have to pin Thing 1 and Thing 2's quilts and then sew them and I"ll be done with the machine sewing. Then I have to cut out a few more pieces for Little Thing 3's quilt because I messed up on a couple of squares so it was all odd looking and this'll look nicer anyways. After I do that, I can sew those pieces on, cut out some batting, and pin and sew it. Am HOPING to have this done before Little Thing 3 gets here in April, but gods only know if it'll happen. I am quite lazy, after all.
We also contacted a trainer about Sisko, whom we've been having a lot of issues with. He's an aggressive Alpha Male, and while we thought we had that under control, the baby has just proven how much we do NOT. He is incredibly disrespectful of our authority, which means he still thinks he's the boss. He knows the commands, but only listens when it is convenient for him to do so, and certainly not with distractions. So, we paid about a thousand dollars for training and a behavioural collar. Because we have GOT to get him under control before he hurts the baby (whether intentionally or not.)
First lesson will be this weekend, hurrah.
I haven't even started on the Steampunk story yet. Which is fine, because I had decided not to enter it in that contest anyhow. I want to spiff it up nice and enter it into a bigger contest, I think. Something that might get me a real publication credit, so I can at least gain a bit of experience. I plan to get it started tomorrow or next week depending on how crazy tomorrow is (I have a cloth diaper workshop in the morning, and birthday party planning jam session with the awesome Punk Rock Girl- Little Dude's godmother- and cupcake planning with the equally awesome Doot tomorrow evening). And I never get things started on Fridays, so if I don't get it started tomorrow it'll have to wait until Monday probably.
Shino has promised to start harassing me about it too, so that's nice. Maybe I should ask more people to help harass me about it. Harassing is almost as good as having a due date to make me actually get things done.
Of course, I also haven't gotten as much done as I'd have liked to. We've officially switched to cloth diapering most of the day (he wears a disposable mostly only at night and first thing in the morning, when Shino changes him, though sometimes Shino changes him in the evening as well and that's a disposable too, because he doesn't really like cloth. Whatevs.), so there'll be a post upcoming about that.
Other than that, I have managed to get the faces of all three quilts done. I had them laid out and Thing 1's quilt was pinned, but then I realized that I desperately hated the borders for both, and so had to switch them around and haven't had a chance to re-pin. I hate pinning, btw. It's the most tedious part of the whole quilt, to me- there's no FUN involved, just work. So, I have to pin Thing 1 and Thing 2's quilts and then sew them and I"ll be done with the machine sewing. Then I have to cut out a few more pieces for Little Thing 3's quilt because I messed up on a couple of squares so it was all odd looking and this'll look nicer anyways. After I do that, I can sew those pieces on, cut out some batting, and pin and sew it. Am HOPING to have this done before Little Thing 3 gets here in April, but gods only know if it'll happen. I am quite lazy, after all.
We also contacted a trainer about Sisko, whom we've been having a lot of issues with. He's an aggressive Alpha Male, and while we thought we had that under control, the baby has just proven how much we do NOT. He is incredibly disrespectful of our authority, which means he still thinks he's the boss. He knows the commands, but only listens when it is convenient for him to do so, and certainly not with distractions. So, we paid about a thousand dollars for training and a behavioural collar. Because we have GOT to get him under control before he hurts the baby (whether intentionally or not.)
First lesson will be this weekend, hurrah.
I haven't even started on the Steampunk story yet. Which is fine, because I had decided not to enter it in that contest anyhow. I want to spiff it up nice and enter it into a bigger contest, I think. Something that might get me a real publication credit, so I can at least gain a bit of experience. I plan to get it started tomorrow or next week depending on how crazy tomorrow is (I have a cloth diaper workshop in the morning, and birthday party planning jam session with the awesome Punk Rock Girl- Little Dude's godmother- and cupcake planning with the equally awesome Doot tomorrow evening). And I never get things started on Fridays, so if I don't get it started tomorrow it'll have to wait until Monday probably.
Shino has promised to start harassing me about it too, so that's nice. Maybe I should ask more people to help harass me about it. Harassing is almost as good as having a due date to make me actually get things done.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Babywearing
So, lets talk about babywearing. Because, really, this is my biggest 'hobby' right now.
It's expensive. ....or is it? Yes, wraps or carriers cost on average between $50 and $200. Most people have at least two different carriers for different reasons, so you're looking at probably $100 at the VERY least. Most likely a bit more than that.
Which, by itself, is not expensive.
But, rarely does it stop there. Most people who babywear think of carriers a bit like accessories. They become addictive in the way that most women love shoes and purses and clothes. Since I don't care for shoes, or purses, and I like my clothes to have a $5 price tag attached to them, yes, the price tag on a carrier does look incredibly expensive. But, also because I do not do any of these things, we can afford it.
This doesn't even touch on the fact that most carriers are completely re-sellable. And usually, for at the VERY least 50% of the purchase price. Unlike pretty much everything else you buy for a baby (which, if you re-sell, you are lucky to get 50% of the purchase price for. VERY lucky, no matter how well you took care of it or how little you used it).
So, I guess I might as well do the obligatory introduction post- different carriers, their uses, my preferences. This is by and far not even close to a comprehensive list. And it's just my opinions- a lot of people find different carriers more or less useful for different reasons than I do. That's ok. Being different is good (remember my previous post? We like differences!) If you have any questions about carriers, definitely check out thebabywearer.com. They have a TON of resources for you. If you want to BUY a carrier, they have a FSOT (For Sale or Trade) section, and you can also try diaperswappers.com which has a carrier FSOT as well as cloth diaper one, and babycenter's babywearing group, which also has a swap.
Carriers are one of the few things in life you will find you most likely PREFER used. Because they're already broken in most of the time, and so you don't have to do it yourself. AND you don't have to pay full price. So, you pay less and get what is arguably a better product. AWESOME.
There are four basic types of carriers:
Mei Tai/ Asian Carriers
Soft Sided carriers
Slings
Wraps
Mei Tai/Asian carriers encompass Mei Tais, Podaegi, Onbuhimo, and several others that I'm sure I have no clue about. Mei Tais are the most common ones, though. These tend to be the catch all carrier for just about anyone. They're pretty easy to use, straightforward, and relatively moderately priced. You can find a good one new for about $80 and used in the $50 range. MAKE SURE you do your research, though. A lot of these that you find on Etsy and Ebay and even in stores are not made sturdy enough to carry a heavy baby for very long. So, if you want one that'll last, check out thebabywearer and other websites to make certain the carrier is a good brand. Some brands that I know for sure are good: Kozy, Babyhawk, Perfect Papoose, Wrapstar, Ultimate Mama/Man Carrier. I know there are more, but I've only used the first three personally and I'm not really that big on Mei Tai's in general.
Soft Sided Carriers- These are also called 'buckle' carriers. They are like Bjorns, only better because they do not dangle your poor helpless offspring by his/her crotch. They are also more supportive for your back, so you can wear past 15lbs without wanting to die. Good carriers to look for are Ergo, Beco, Olives and Applesauce, Boba, Kinderpack, etc.
Slings- Ring slings and pouches both come under this category. These use only one shoulder to support your little one, so most people prefer them when your little one is actually little. Otherwise, it starts to hurt. They're particularly useful with newborns, though, and are reportedly the easiest to nurse in. I never got the hang of them personally, until I got a wrap converted one when Little Dude was already like 20lbs and it killed me to wear him in it longer than maybe 10 minutes. You do NOT want to use the Infantino or any of the kind that encourage you to wear your baby like a messenger bag. You should be able to see baby's face AT ALL TIMES in a sling. 90% of your store brand slings are dangerous to wear with- the exception being the pouch style slings like hotslings, and then you have to be VERY careful that you are using them properly if you want to use a cradle position. Mostly, stick with the tummy to tummy position where baby is upright and you'll be better off. Good brands for this are Sleeping Baby productions, Sweet Pea, Kalea, Sakura Bloom.
Wraps-
There are two kinds of wraps: stretchy, and woven. A stretchy wrap is good for when baby is little (less than 15lbs). They're also really good for learning how to wrap, supposedly, but I never got the hang of this either. Then again, I seem to be the exception rather than the rule in all this babywearing stuff, so don't listen to me ^_-. Figure out what works for you. Anyhow, these are your Moby wraps, Sleepy wraps, etc. These are pretty cheap (usually you can find a used Moby/etc for like $25, and new they're maybe $50?) and you can easily make your own ghetto version by going to JoAnns, getting like 5-6 yards of a stretchy jersey knit and slicing it in half lengthwise. Yep, that's it. No sewing required, 'cause it doesn't fray, though you can if you want it to look purdy. Cost maybe $20 for two that way, but they don't come with instructions,which you'll probably want to look up videos online anyways so who cares?
Woven wraps are a whole different animal- they are specially woven fabrics (you CAN buy cotton gauze or osnaburg fabric to use instead, but it will NOT be as supportive) that support baby. They are similar to stretchy wraps, in that they are a big long stretch of fabric. They are completely different, though, in that you can use these for back carries, and they are supportive for babies over 15lbs, whoo! Woven wraps are totally my favourite. Why? Well, unlike Soft Sided carriers, you can use these no matter what size you (or your husband, or your baby) are. SSCs are very individual, and some people with different body types like different ones better. Plus, if you and your husband both want to use it, you have to keep adjusting the buckles every time you switch. Annoying, and totally eliminates the point of a SSC (having something quick and easy!). Mei Tais are similar to wraps in this fashion, as most people find they can share them easily (since you tie instead of buckling, you don't have to adjust the straps) but, some Mei Tais are better for different sized adults and babies. When Little Dude was like 4 months old, I could not find a Mei Tai that didn't seem HUGE on the bottom, and since he wanted his little legs dangling out of the carrier at that point, I felt like they'd be stretched way too far for comfort. Not a problem in a wrap, which can be adjusted to your baby's size perfectly.
So, yeah, thanks for making it through all that with me. Now you're going "OMG I'm STILL confused! What do I get for x friend for their babyshower that I can just purchase at Target five minutes before I show up?" ..well, first of all, SLACKER! Second of all, you can get a Moby wrap or something, but I'd really suggest shopping online instead. There are VERY few good carriers that you can just nab at Target or Walmart or even Babies R Us. You don't want to go with a Baby Bjorn (seriously, your friend will thank you for sparing their back that agony) and you don't want to go with anything made by Infantino (unless you want it to fall apart). Yes, these carriers might be cheaper, but...well, you get what you pay for. They're uncomfortable, and often poorly made.
If you still have questions, though, feel free to drop me a line. I LOVE these things, because without them I'd get even less done than I already do, and my back would be in even worse shape than my c-section and pregnancy left it in. They are seriously the most useful thing a parent will ever own. And I don't bite, I promise.
It's expensive. ....or is it? Yes, wraps or carriers cost on average between $50 and $200. Most people have at least two different carriers for different reasons, so you're looking at probably $100 at the VERY least. Most likely a bit more than that.
Which, by itself, is not expensive.
But, rarely does it stop there. Most people who babywear think of carriers a bit like accessories. They become addictive in the way that most women love shoes and purses and clothes. Since I don't care for shoes, or purses, and I like my clothes to have a $5 price tag attached to them, yes, the price tag on a carrier does look incredibly expensive. But, also because I do not do any of these things, we can afford it.
This doesn't even touch on the fact that most carriers are completely re-sellable. And usually, for at the VERY least 50% of the purchase price. Unlike pretty much everything else you buy for a baby (which, if you re-sell, you are lucky to get 50% of the purchase price for. VERY lucky, no matter how well you took care of it or how little you used it).
So, I guess I might as well do the obligatory introduction post- different carriers, their uses, my preferences. This is by and far not even close to a comprehensive list. And it's just my opinions- a lot of people find different carriers more or less useful for different reasons than I do. That's ok. Being different is good (remember my previous post? We like differences!) If you have any questions about carriers, definitely check out thebabywearer.com. They have a TON of resources for you. If you want to BUY a carrier, they have a FSOT (For Sale or Trade) section, and you can also try diaperswappers.com which has a carrier FSOT as well as cloth diaper one, and babycenter's babywearing group, which also has a swap.
Carriers are one of the few things in life you will find you most likely PREFER used. Because they're already broken in most of the time, and so you don't have to do it yourself. AND you don't have to pay full price. So, you pay less and get what is arguably a better product. AWESOME.
There are four basic types of carriers:
Mei Tai/ Asian Carriers
Soft Sided carriers
Slings
Wraps
Mei Tai/Asian carriers encompass Mei Tais, Podaegi, Onbuhimo, and several others that I'm sure I have no clue about. Mei Tais are the most common ones, though. These tend to be the catch all carrier for just about anyone. They're pretty easy to use, straightforward, and relatively moderately priced. You can find a good one new for about $80 and used in the $50 range. MAKE SURE you do your research, though. A lot of these that you find on Etsy and Ebay and even in stores are not made sturdy enough to carry a heavy baby for very long. So, if you want one that'll last, check out thebabywearer and other websites to make certain the carrier is a good brand. Some brands that I know for sure are good: Kozy, Babyhawk, Perfect Papoose, Wrapstar, Ultimate Mama/Man Carrier. I know there are more, but I've only used the first three personally and I'm not really that big on Mei Tai's in general.
Soft Sided Carriers- These are also called 'buckle' carriers. They are like Bjorns, only better because they do not dangle your poor helpless offspring by his/her crotch. They are also more supportive for your back, so you can wear past 15lbs without wanting to die. Good carriers to look for are Ergo, Beco, Olives and Applesauce, Boba, Kinderpack, etc.
Slings- Ring slings and pouches both come under this category. These use only one shoulder to support your little one, so most people prefer them when your little one is actually little. Otherwise, it starts to hurt. They're particularly useful with newborns, though, and are reportedly the easiest to nurse in. I never got the hang of them personally, until I got a wrap converted one when Little Dude was already like 20lbs and it killed me to wear him in it longer than maybe 10 minutes. You do NOT want to use the Infantino or any of the kind that encourage you to wear your baby like a messenger bag. You should be able to see baby's face AT ALL TIMES in a sling. 90% of your store brand slings are dangerous to wear with- the exception being the pouch style slings like hotslings, and then you have to be VERY careful that you are using them properly if you want to use a cradle position. Mostly, stick with the tummy to tummy position where baby is upright and you'll be better off. Good brands for this are Sleeping Baby productions, Sweet Pea, Kalea, Sakura Bloom.
Wraps-
There are two kinds of wraps: stretchy, and woven. A stretchy wrap is good for when baby is little (less than 15lbs). They're also really good for learning how to wrap, supposedly, but I never got the hang of this either. Then again, I seem to be the exception rather than the rule in all this babywearing stuff, so don't listen to me ^_-. Figure out what works for you. Anyhow, these are your Moby wraps, Sleepy wraps, etc. These are pretty cheap (usually you can find a used Moby/etc for like $25, and new they're maybe $50?) and you can easily make your own ghetto version by going to JoAnns, getting like 5-6 yards of a stretchy jersey knit and slicing it in half lengthwise. Yep, that's it. No sewing required, 'cause it doesn't fray, though you can if you want it to look purdy. Cost maybe $20 for two that way, but they don't come with instructions,which you'll probably want to look up videos online anyways so who cares?
Woven wraps are a whole different animal- they are specially woven fabrics (you CAN buy cotton gauze or osnaburg fabric to use instead, but it will NOT be as supportive) that support baby. They are similar to stretchy wraps, in that they are a big long stretch of fabric. They are completely different, though, in that you can use these for back carries, and they are supportive for babies over 15lbs, whoo! Woven wraps are totally my favourite. Why? Well, unlike Soft Sided carriers, you can use these no matter what size you (or your husband, or your baby) are. SSCs are very individual, and some people with different body types like different ones better. Plus, if you and your husband both want to use it, you have to keep adjusting the buckles every time you switch. Annoying, and totally eliminates the point of a SSC (having something quick and easy!). Mei Tais are similar to wraps in this fashion, as most people find they can share them easily (since you tie instead of buckling, you don't have to adjust the straps) but, some Mei Tais are better for different sized adults and babies. When Little Dude was like 4 months old, I could not find a Mei Tai that didn't seem HUGE on the bottom, and since he wanted his little legs dangling out of the carrier at that point, I felt like they'd be stretched way too far for comfort. Not a problem in a wrap, which can be adjusted to your baby's size perfectly.
So, yeah, thanks for making it through all that with me. Now you're going "OMG I'm STILL confused! What do I get for x friend for their babyshower that I can just purchase at Target five minutes before I show up?" ..well, first of all, SLACKER! Second of all, you can get a Moby wrap or something, but I'd really suggest shopping online instead. There are VERY few good carriers that you can just nab at Target or Walmart or even Babies R Us. You don't want to go with a Baby Bjorn (seriously, your friend will thank you for sparing their back that agony) and you don't want to go with anything made by Infantino (unless you want it to fall apart). Yes, these carriers might be cheaper, but...well, you get what you pay for. They're uncomfortable, and often poorly made.
If you still have questions, though, feel free to drop me a line. I LOVE these things, because without them I'd get even less done than I already do, and my back would be in even worse shape than my c-section and pregnancy left it in. They are seriously the most useful thing a parent will ever own. And I don't bite, I promise.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Twins
Twins do NOT have an innate, unique bond. Really. I promise. We are not psychic or empathic or whatever other romantic nonsense has been drilled into your head by 10million Lifetime movies and romance novels. I know, I know, it bursts the bubble of millions of twin fanatic future mommies out there everywhere, but it's the truth.
This is not to say that they cannot be incredibly close. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that two people who grew up sharing their entire lives (down to the minute) with one another up until adulthood could be very very close. But, do not expect this to be the case Necessarily.
I speak this from ACTUAL firsthand experience. Not the firsthand experience of having 'witnessed' it or known someone who spoke about it, or whatever. I AM a twin- my twin brother Itamu is great. No, really, he's a good guy. I can count on him for anything- he's probably the most loyal man in the universe and his intentions are ALWAYS pure- something very few others can profess. He works hard and does what's right and he's a really great person. We share interests, and parents, and a sister. But that is it. We do not share an unnatural link. In fact, I am arguably closer to my sister- who is 18 months my junior- than I am to him. This has nothing to do with gender, as neither of us tend towards teh typical pursuits of society's expected 'gender' behaviours. That is, I am more interested in sports than he is (though, it's still not much) and no more interested in clothes or hair or purses or shoes than he is. So it isn't a lack of common ground- we have just as much in common, for the most part, as my sister and I do. In fact, more, in some cases, sharing a birthday and age and all.
But seriously, guys, give it a rest. Please stop making movies/books/bulletin board posts about teh AMAZING BOND OF TWINS! There is no amazing bond. Some twins may synchronize their behaviours, but it's no more impressive than girls' menstrual periods synchronizing when they spend too much time together, or husbands and wives completing each others sentences because we know each other so well we already know the next thing each other is going to say. Spending a lot of time together (which is inevitable if you're born on the same day to the same parents) kinda does that to a person.
And no, I do not complete my brothers' sentences. Unless he's fishing for a word and I know it, because I am a WORD WHORE and he stinks at English.
This is not to say that they cannot be incredibly close. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that two people who grew up sharing their entire lives (down to the minute) with one another up until adulthood could be very very close. But, do not expect this to be the case Necessarily.
I speak this from ACTUAL firsthand experience. Not the firsthand experience of having 'witnessed' it or known someone who spoke about it, or whatever. I AM a twin- my twin brother Itamu is great. No, really, he's a good guy. I can count on him for anything- he's probably the most loyal man in the universe and his intentions are ALWAYS pure- something very few others can profess. He works hard and does what's right and he's a really great person. We share interests, and parents, and a sister. But that is it. We do not share an unnatural link. In fact, I am arguably closer to my sister- who is 18 months my junior- than I am to him. This has nothing to do with gender, as neither of us tend towards teh typical pursuits of society's expected 'gender' behaviours. That is, I am more interested in sports than he is (though, it's still not much) and no more interested in clothes or hair or purses or shoes than he is. So it isn't a lack of common ground- we have just as much in common, for the most part, as my sister and I do. In fact, more, in some cases, sharing a birthday and age and all.
But seriously, guys, give it a rest. Please stop making movies/books/bulletin board posts about teh AMAZING BOND OF TWINS! There is no amazing bond. Some twins may synchronize their behaviours, but it's no more impressive than girls' menstrual periods synchronizing when they spend too much time together, or husbands and wives completing each others sentences because we know each other so well we already know the next thing each other is going to say. Spending a lot of time together (which is inevitable if you're born on the same day to the same parents) kinda does that to a person.
And no, I do not complete my brothers' sentences. Unless he's fishing for a word and I know it, because I am a WORD WHORE and he stinks at English.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Breastfeeding Vent
Allright. Now, anybody who knows me will know that I am NOT a breastfeeding Nazi. I do it because it's easy and cheap and really, because I love it and it works for me and Li. I have no problem with people who do not breastfeed- they have their reasons, I'm sure.
Well, I'll scratch that. I have no problem with people not breastfeeding in general. I DO have a problem with people who don't do it, or who have a problem with me doing it, because it's "creepy" and "disgusting". And mostly people who feel this way about doing so in public, and feel like it's okay to spread around that it's "creepy" and "disgusting". Worse yet, some people feel like it's okay to tell people who do it that they find it "creepy" and "disgusting".
WTF people? Tact? Civility? And what the hell is wrong with feeding your child the way nature intended you to? I don't think formula feeding is creepy or disgusting (well, formula is kinda disgusting, but even a lot of people who formula feed think it's disgusting but only in that it smells horrendous and makes for even nastier baby poop. No, really, it does.), but even if I did, I would KEEP IT TO MYSELF. Just because I have an opinion does NOT mean I have to spread it around everywhere like a bad rash.
It seems like nursing in public in particular finds itself at the wrong end of this sort of judgment. I mean, seriously. I think those ear plugs where it looks like there's a gigantic hole in your lobe are creepy and disgusting. Doesn't mean I'm going to go around telling people- and certainly not people who have them! It is their right to do whatever they want to their bodies, and if I don't like to look at it, I just WON'T.
And I guess this isn't even about that. It comes down to that basic desire to bring down other peoples' opinions in favour of our own. We can't just disagree- we have to tear apart, degrade, destroy the other person's opinion. We don't want to hear that the other opinion is just as valid. Like somehow bringing them down makes our personal stance more 'right' and theirs more 'wrong' and acknowledging theirs makes our stance less 'right' and theirs less 'wrong' and that's completely unacceptable.
I'd guess that's where cyber bullying comes from. It's sad, really. We have to gang up on, or just individually rise against and beat down people who don't agree with with us. I say 'we', but really, I strive to be as little like this as possible. It's probably one of my biggest goals in life- to acknowledge, and even understand, the differences in every person- whether they be opinions or choices or anything else.
I have friends who are more creative than I am (hi Doot, PRG). I have friends who are smarter than I am (hello Godwyn, Laura) I have friends who have completely opposite political views to myself (hello Gaaz, at the least) and friends who have different lifestyle choices than I do (hello Diana, and many many others in much more minor ways). And I value these differences greatly. I love learning about them, understanding them, talking to them, debating with them.
What kind of world would this be if we were all the same? I think I'd hate that more than just about anything else this world could be.
Well, I'll scratch that. I have no problem with people not breastfeeding in general. I DO have a problem with people who don't do it, or who have a problem with me doing it, because it's "creepy" and "disgusting". And mostly people who feel this way about doing so in public, and feel like it's okay to spread around that it's "creepy" and "disgusting". Worse yet, some people feel like it's okay to tell people who do it that they find it "creepy" and "disgusting".
WTF people? Tact? Civility? And what the hell is wrong with feeding your child the way nature intended you to? I don't think formula feeding is creepy or disgusting (well, formula is kinda disgusting, but even a lot of people who formula feed think it's disgusting but only in that it smells horrendous and makes for even nastier baby poop. No, really, it does.), but even if I did, I would KEEP IT TO MYSELF. Just because I have an opinion does NOT mean I have to spread it around everywhere like a bad rash.
It seems like nursing in public in particular finds itself at the wrong end of this sort of judgment. I mean, seriously. I think those ear plugs where it looks like there's a gigantic hole in your lobe are creepy and disgusting. Doesn't mean I'm going to go around telling people- and certainly not people who have them! It is their right to do whatever they want to their bodies, and if I don't like to look at it, I just WON'T.
And I guess this isn't even about that. It comes down to that basic desire to bring down other peoples' opinions in favour of our own. We can't just disagree- we have to tear apart, degrade, destroy the other person's opinion. We don't want to hear that the other opinion is just as valid. Like somehow bringing them down makes our personal stance more 'right' and theirs more 'wrong' and acknowledging theirs makes our stance less 'right' and theirs less 'wrong' and that's completely unacceptable.
I'd guess that's where cyber bullying comes from. It's sad, really. We have to gang up on, or just individually rise against and beat down people who don't agree with with us. I say 'we', but really, I strive to be as little like this as possible. It's probably one of my biggest goals in life- to acknowledge, and even understand, the differences in every person- whether they be opinions or choices or anything else.
I have friends who are more creative than I am (hi Doot, PRG). I have friends who are smarter than I am (hello Godwyn, Laura) I have friends who have completely opposite political views to myself (hello Gaaz, at the least) and friends who have different lifestyle choices than I do (hello Diana, and many many others in much more minor ways). And I value these differences greatly. I love learning about them, understanding them, talking to them, debating with them.
What kind of world would this be if we were all the same? I think I'd hate that more than just about anything else this world could be.
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